He was underneath the table in the Dining Hall. I'm volunteering at camp this week as "Pastor in Residence" and I found him while I was helping clean. So for all of you who have been trying to find Jesus, relax. I found him.
It's a pretty cool gig being Pastor in Residence here. I get to do a lot of fun things. For my closing prayer last night in worship I set up a large pendulum in the pavilion, invoked the First Law of Thermodynamics, Newton's First Law of Motion, and quoted Billy Bragg. Life is good.
Here's a sample:
JULES: Your pardon; did I break thy concentration?
Continue! Ah, but now thy tongue is still.
Allow me then to offer a response.
Describe Marsellus Wallace to me, pray.
J: What country dost thou hail from?
J: Thou sayest thou dost hail from distant What?
I know but naught of thy fair country What.
What language speak they in the land of What?
J: English, base knave, dost thou speak it?
J: Then hearken to my words and answer them!
Describe to me Marsellus Wallace!
JULES presses his knife to BRETT's throat
J: Speak 'What' again! Thou cur, cry 'What' again!
I dare thee utter 'What' again but once!
I dare thee twice and spit upon thy name!
Now, paint for me a portraiture in words,
If thou hast any in thy head but 'What',
Of Marsellus Wallace!
B: He is dark.
J: Aye, and what more?
B: His head is shaven bald.
J: Hath he the semblance of a harlot?
JULES strikes and BRETT cries out
J: Hath he the semblance of a harlot?
J: Then why didst thou attempt to bed him thus?
B: I did not!
J: Aye, thou didst! O, aye, thou didst!
Thou sought to rape him like a chattel whore!
And sooth, Lord Wallace is displeased to bed
With aught but Lady Wallace, whom he wed.
You know how it is. Sometimes you are on the go and you don't pick up the paper and you miss reading your favorite comic strip couple, the Lockhorns. Well, fear not! Minneapolis Improv Artist Jill Bernard has now started an invaluable service to the world. Every weekday she reads the Lockhorns aloud.
Along with the audio file is a automatic text transcription of the audio and that can contain its own humor since her transcription software isn't 100% accurate.
Thanks to Fuzzy for pointing me to this.
So, if anyone out there reading this blog has a hickey and tries this let me know if it works. I'm just, you know, empirically curious.
Tom Gauld is hilarious.
Yeah, those guidelines are perfectly clear, understandable, and acceptable to me.
I've been putting my new computer through its paces today and made this little video based on this post.
Ever try to have a serious conversation with your dying father and he decides now would be a good time for a harmonica solo?
Man, Sith Lords just have no sense of dignity.
Thanks again to fanboy.com for this.
I love how Duluth has been the butt of jokes for years in the movies. Truth is, it's a beautiful city and I've lived in far worse places and we know how to laugh at ourselves.
The site would be much better if it were cleaner without all of the ads cluttering it up, but it's a brilliant idea even if the execution is, in my opinion, flawed in its presentation.
Thanks to the Professor from Gonzo Science for pointing this out to me.
My Little Golden Book about ZOGG is a parody of an insipid children's book about God that I actually remember from my childhood.
As I remember it, it was pretty creepy then. The rewrite is even creepier.
Prepare yourself for the "powder scented Final Solution of our enemies from beyond..."
Much has come to light since the incident at Yavin 4. The Empire blames a poorly equipped and badly organized band of rebels. The uncomfortable question is: Can we believe what the official news agency tells us? Could such a small force really perpetrate an attack with such lethal force? Or is there an alternate explanation?
Uncomfortable Questions: An Analysis of the Death Star Attack delves into these issues. Is it treasonous to want to know the truth?
Thanks again to BadCat! for pointing out this to me.