| But it's nice to know this little project is worth something in hard currency. Coincidentally, that amount is close to what I need for the remainder of the downpayment on my new house. Could I trade my blog for a house? Hmmm... the mind boggles. |
A Houston protester argues that proficiency in English should be a condition for citizenship. Excellent point. May I just point out something about your sign then?
Dr. Pamela Takayoshi, Associate Professor of English at Kent State University, is claiming that IM speak is not just slang but represents a whole other language, separate from English. From the press release:
Instant messaging, or IM, is not just bad grammar or a bunch of mistakes. IM is a separate language form from formal English and has a common set of language features and standards.
While I agree that when you understand the rules of IM speak there is some standardization to it, it is still at its root IM based on English words. I think this becomes a semantical debate as to what constitutes a language. I'd accept that IM speak is a separate and unique dialect of English, but I'm not sure it qualifies as its own unique language. I'm willing to be persuaded otherwise, though.
I went to see Iron Man yesterday with my buddy, Russ, and was pleasantly entertained. It was a nice rendition of one of my favorite comic book heroes. Robert Downey Jr. was a perfect Tony Stark and Gwyneth Paltrow was... sigh... so beautiful. Probably my favorite scenes in the movie were between these two actors, especially the one in which Stark needs his personal assistant, Pepper Potts, to assist him personally with a delicate, little life and death procedure.
But here's the thing you have to know. If you go to see the movie stay until the very end. There's a fun scene after the credits. I will say no more. Trust me. It's totally worth it.
You know, I was a real critic of the idea of going to war. I thought it would be long and drawn out and that our mission was unclear. Were we there to remove Saddam Hussein? Were we there to find and disarm WMDs? Were we there to fight al Qaeda? Little did I know that the whole mission would come to such a swift conclusion. I mean, honestly, 3 months for military operations was really exceptionally fast.
But what was more unexpected for me was how prepared the State and Defense Departments were to engage in their very thorough and well planned postwar operations for stabilization and rebuilding. I know, I was really critical of the Bush administration back prewar and I realize how foolish I was now. Now it just seems so self-evident that if you are going to war with the world's largest military that of course you are going to have a strategic plan that makes sure that your military success can be followed up with peace and reconstruction. It just makes sense, doesn't it?
I was also a critic of us going into Iraq unilaterally without the support of the community of nations. I thought this would make us look like a bully and a pariah on the world stage. I guess I didn't understand that we were leading a coalition of countries and that the world would fall in line behind us once they realized the stability and prosperity we were bringing to Iraq.
And, I'm ashamed to say, back prewar I was concerned that our invasion of Iraq would create a breeding ground for terrorists who would be unified and emboldened by our presence there and that we would foster the very thing we were trying to defeat. Boy, was I stupid.
Also I was worried that civil society in Iraq might break down along old ethnic and religious fault lines and that we might end up trying to reconstruct a country ripped apart by civil war. I should have known that our presence would only stabilize Iraqi society and they would greet us like liberators.
Well, now in 2008, all my doubts back in the build up to war look amazingly naive and short sighted. I'm sorry I doubted you, Donald Rumsfeld, and congratulations on your decisive primary victories. I have no doubt, now, that with Bush campaigning for you and your reputation as the architect of our Iraqi victory you will have no problem securing victory in the fall, and deservedly so.
For an assignment my kids were asked to write down 100 questions, so I decided to do the same. My own twist in the assignment was that the 100 questions had to make a comprehensible script. It's a script. I'll allow you, reader, to decide if it's comprehensible or not.
Zed: Who’s there?
Adam: Who do you think?
Zed: What took you so long? How is it out there?
Adam: How do you think it is out there in the gaping maw of the apocalypse or whatever it is?
Zed: How was it out there… today?
Adam: Do you think I could get a glass of something first?
Zed: What do you want?
Adam: Do we have any scotch left?
Zed: Don’t you remember using the last of it to clean Malden’s wounds?
Adam: That was the last of it?
Zed: You didn’t know that?
Adam: How is Malden, then?
Zed: Any guess why my hands are so dirty?
Adam: You buried him then?
Zed: How about some beer? Would you like a glass?
Adam: Is it clean?
Zed: Is anything here clean? So, how was your journey? How is it out there?
Adam: Do you remember snowglobes? You know how you would look at a snowglobe and everything looks so peaceful and then you turn it upside down and shake it until it’s all just a swirling chaos? Now can you imagine our whole world as a snowglobe in the hands of some cosmic kid? Does that paint a picture?
My kids and I were just passing by a hotel on our way to rehearsal and Emma, as she often does, read aloud what was on the sign:
Emma: Hos... lity
Me: Hosp... t'lity?
Emma: Nope, just Hos, space, space, space, space, lity.
Me: Oh, maybe that's their new slogan...
Emma: What?
Me: "We take the 'pain in the ass' out of 'hospitality.'"
Emma and Simon: Huh?
Then, of course, I had to explain the acronym "PITA." It was what educators call a "teachable moment."
This is a mash up using footage from an ABC interview with some of the women from the polygamist sect in Texas which was raided recently. It's an eerie and somewhat disturbing look at the clash of cultures.
What began as a wonderful thread going on at the livejournal of Kevin Pease is now a full fledged wiki for the reconstruction of Pulp Fiction as if it had been written by William Shakespeare.
Here's a sample:
JULES: Your pardon; did I break thy concentration?
Continue! Ah, but now thy tongue is still.
Allow me then to offer a response.
Describe Marsellus Wallace to me, pray.
BRETT: What?
J: What country dost thou hail from?
B: What?
J: Thou sayest thou dost hail from distant What?
I know but naught of thy fair country What.
What language speak they in the land of What?
B: What?
J: English, base knave, dost thou speak it?
B: Aye!
J: Then hearken to my words and answer them!
Describe to me Marsellus Wallace!
B: What?
JULES presses his knife to BRETT's throat
J: Speak 'What' again! Thou cur, cry 'What' again!
I dare thee utter 'What' again but once!
I dare thee twice and spit upon thy name!
Now, paint for me a portraiture in words,
If thou hast any in thy head but 'What',
Of Marsellus Wallace!
B: He is dark.
J: Aye, and what more?
B: His head is shaven bald.
J: Hath he the semblance of a harlot?
B: What?
JULES strikes and BRETT cries out
J: Hath he the semblance of a harlot?
B: Nay!
J: Then why didst thou attempt to bed him thus?
B: I did not!
J: Aye, thou didst! O, aye, thou didst!
Thou sought to rape him like a chattel whore!
And sooth, Lord Wallace is displeased to bed
With aught but Lady Wallace, whom he wed.
Blogger X - I like X! X makes me happy!
Commenter 1 - I give tacit support for your love of X, but somewhat less enthusiastic support than yours.
Commenter 2 - I point out certain deficits in X, but affirm Blogger X as having the right to hold that opinion.
Commenter 3 - I don't like X because of some childhood trauma.
Commenter 4 - I don't like X because of its negative impact on the environment, cultural morals, or because X is a cheap imitation of Z.
Commenter 5 - I affirm Z as being better. X sucks.
Commenter 6 - X sucks.
Commenter 7 - X sucks more than Z but Z sucks too.
Commenter 8 - X sucks and Blogger X sucks.
Commenter 9 - I defend Blogger X and cast aspersions upon Commenter 8.
Commenter 8 - Commenter 9 sucks.
Commenter 1 - I try to calm everyone down.
Commenter 8 - Commenter 1 is a self righteous prig.
Commenter 5 - I roll my eyes.
Admin - Stop it.
Commenter 8 - Admin sucks.
Commenter 7 - Yeah, what Commenter 8 said.
Admin - Ban.
Commenter 8 as Commenter 10 - You all suck. I launch into a diatribe against everybody.
Admin - Come on guys.
Commenter 1 - This used to be such a good blog.
Commenter 3 - This is all Blogger X's fault, really.
Blogger X - Meh?
I live on the shores of Lake Superior not too far from Duluth. I have a son and a daughter and enjoy writing, theater, movies, and all sorts of geeky activities. I like to talk about politics, religion, and other things one isn't supposed to discuss in polite company. I make my living as a holy man. I really appreciate people leaving comments, so don't be shy.
