« Blogger X - A Drama | Main | It's Not a Compound »

Pulp Fiction as written by William Shakespeare

url.jpegWhat began as a wonderful thread going on at the livejournal of Kevin Pease is now a full fledged wiki for the reconstruction of Pulp Fiction as if it had been written by William Shakespeare.

Here's a sample:

JULES: Your pardon; did I break thy concentration?
Continue! Ah, but now thy tongue is still.
Allow me then to offer a response.
Describe Marsellus Wallace to me, pray.
BRETT: What?
J: What country dost thou hail from?
B: What?
J: Thou sayest thou dost hail from distant What?
I know but naught of thy fair country What.
What language speak they in the land of What?
B: What?
J: English, base knave, dost thou speak it?
B: Aye!
J: Then hearken to my words and answer them!
Describe to me Marsellus Wallace!
B: What?
JULES presses his knife to BRETT's throat
J: Speak 'What' again! Thou cur, cry 'What' again!
I dare thee utter 'What' again but once!
I dare thee twice and spit upon thy name!
Now, paint for me a portraiture in words,
If thou hast any in thy head but 'What',
Of Marsellus Wallace!
B: He is dark.
J: Aye, and what more?
B: His head is shaven bald.
J: Hath he the semblance of a harlot?
B: What?
JULES strikes and BRETT cries out
J: Hath he the semblance of a harlot?
B: Nay!
J: Then why didst thou attempt to bed him thus?
B: I did not!
J: Aye, thou didst! O, aye, thou didst!
Thou sought to rape him like a chattel whore!
And sooth, Lord Wallace is displeased to bed
With aught but Lady Wallace, whom he wed.


Wow, that rocks.

What's your connection to Kevin Pease? Did you know he designed the StoryCards ambigram logo?

Whoa. I LOVE it!!!!! But I have no desire to ever actually watch Pulp Fiction. Or Reservoir Dogs, or any of that Tarentino stuff.

That's how I know his name! I knew it sounded familiar! No, total coincidence, Carl. It's a small interweb, ain't it?

now i really need to watch pulp fiction again...after all the title makes it palatable.

I didn't want to watch Pulp Fiction either, but I was talked into it. And it was surprisingly good. I was impressed.

Nay, quoth he, yet it be a Chopper....

Update: Now coming to the Minnesota Fringe Festival...

Bard Fiction

Post a comment