100 Questions or A Poem About a Tiger
For an assignment my kids were asked to write down 100 questions, so I decided to do the same. My own twist in the assignment was that the 100 questions had to make a comprehensible script. It's a script. I'll allow you, reader, to decide if it's comprehensible or not.
Zed: Who’s there?
Adam: Who do you think?
Zed: What took you so long? How is it out there?
Adam: How do you think it is out there in the gaping maw of the apocalypse or whatever it is?
Zed: How was it out there… today?
Adam: Do you think I could get a glass of something first?
Zed: What do you want?
Adam: Do we have any scotch left?
Zed: Don’t you remember using the last of it to clean Malden’s wounds?
Adam: That was the last of it?
Zed: You didn’t know that?
Adam: How is Malden, then?
Zed: Any guess why my hands are so dirty?
Adam: You buried him then?
Zed: How about some beer? Would you like a glass?
Adam: Is it clean?
Zed: Is anything here clean? So, how was your journey? How is it out there?
Adam: Do you remember snowglobes? You know how you would look at a snowglobe and everything looks so peaceful and then you turn it upside down and shake it until it’s all just a swirling chaos? Now can you imagine our whole world as a snowglobe in the hands of some cosmic kid? Does that paint a picture?
Zed: Do we know who they are yet? Where they come from? Do we know anything at all?
Adam: Did Malden say anything before he died? Did he say anything about the attaché case he was carrying? About what was in there?
Zed: What does that have to do with… ? Was Malden with Thinktank? Do you think he came here from HQ? Do you think he came here to help fight off the invaders?
Adam: Doesn’t it all fit? Didn’t you think it was suspicious how he knew so much about things we had to piece together over the last three weeks? How he knew about the poisonous red spores? How he knew to take cover when the flying creatures wailed?
Zed: Didn’t you suppose he worked it out like we did?
Adam: But then where did he get all of his fancy equipment? Where did he get the hasmat suit?
Zed: Don’t we have hasmat suits too?
Adam: But don’t you think it’s odd how new and well fitted his was? Didn’t you and I have to cobble together our suits from what we could salvage from the surplus store?
Zed: But if Malden was with Thinktank what was he doing out here? Why wasn’t he back at HQ trying to thwart this invasion?
Adam: Do you think HQ matters anymore?
Zed: What are you saying?
Adam: Assuming Malden is… or was with Thinktank, do you really think HQ can help anyone anymore? Do you think, after three weeks, anyone is coming to help us? If there was any hope, do you think Malden would have been out here wandering around in his well fitted hasmat suit and fancy equipment?
Zed: What are we to do? Where are we to go?
Adam: You know what I think?
Adam: What would you do if you belonged to a well funded, well equipped, super secret, pseudogovernmental organization and you caused a rift in the time-space continuum and hostile extra-dimensional beings invaded your world?
Zed: Is that what you think they are?
Adam: What would you do?
Zed: How should I know? I don’t even have a university education, do I? How would I know what one of those well-to-do, front-of-the-class, know-it-alls would do?
Adam: Have you ever heard the story of the three wizards who found a dead tiger?
Zed: A dead tiger?
Adam: What if we brought him back to life? What if we could do that? What would happen? Why not find out?
Zed: Did they? What happened?
Adam: What do tigers do? Do you think a tiger is grateful when he comes back from the dead? Or do you think he’s just hungry?
Zed: The tiger ate them?
Adam: So, I ask you again, why do you think our friend Malden was out here wandering by himself?
Zed: Are you saying… they were the ones who started this? That Thinktank raised the tiger, so to speak? But what if you’re wrong? What if help is still on the way? There’s no harm in hoping, is there?
Adam: What if we are the hope now? What if we know more than they do? Where’s that attaché case Malden was carrying? Can you hand it to me?
Zed: Should we open this seal? Aren’t we breaking a law or something when we open the seal?
Adam: Do you think that matters any more? Well, what do we have here?
Zed: What did you find?
Adam: Malden, Malden, Malden, what have you wrought? What have you done in the name of knowledge, my dead friend?
Zed: Why didn’t he tell us any of this? See the dates on these files?
Adam: How long have they known about this? How long, I wonder, were they communicating with these beings until they finally convinced Malden or some other schmuck with a degree and an overinflated opinion of himself to open the door and let them in?
Zed: What were they thinking?
Adam: “What immortal hand or eye could frame thy fearful symmetry? In what distant deeps or skies burnt the fire of thine eyes? On what wings dare he aspire? What the hand dare sieze the fire?”
Zed: What’s that?
Adam: A poem about a tiger.
Of course, Adam is quoting William Blake's "The Tyger," a poem comprised almost entirely of questions.